September 12, 2014

Ready {Five Minute Friday}

Here goes another Five Minute Friday post.
The prompt: Ready

I thought I'd be ready at 18, like the other women in my family. I had always thought I didn't need a plan; that script was already written on my heart. (The years proved I was I wrong.)

I thought I was ready at 20, poring over books, devouring lectures, drinking in preparation of every kind, eager to leave behind the study and put it into practice.

I thought I was ready at 22, head so full of knowledge and 5 Steps for Success and Biblical principles and proper techniques, practicing my dream when others were gracious to allow me, and thinking I knew better than they. (I see now that I was not ready then.)

I thought I was ready at 24, when things finally started falling into place. I made vows and stepped into the future, full of ideals and naive expectations. Maybe I was ready then. (Apparently not.)

I thought I was more than ready at 26 when everyone else seemed to leave me behind, when suddenly I was the only one in any circle who couldn't join that conversation. In those spring months that were darkness to me, I grieved every day the slow death of a dream.

I think I'm beyond ready now. I don't try to resurrect the dream, all but emptied of hope and tears. Not only my peers, but those I held in my arms as babies themselves, they go on to live my dream. I can't imagine they ever wanted it as much as I did, but I suppose they were deemed ready and I was not. 

If I knew that in Heaven it would finally be revealed
that was never part of Your plan for me,
that it wasn't about readiness at all,
am I ready, Lord, to praise You now anyway?


  1. Beautiful. It's not always easy to surrender to His ways. But your readiness brings a smile to His face. Stopped in from the Five Minute Friday. Have a blessed weekend.

  2. I loved this. Readiness comes in the emptying ourselves: "I don't try to resurrect the dream, all but emptied of hope and tears." Such beautiful truth here. Thanks for sharing your writing gift and your heart. Happy Friday!

  3. Love this! What a powerful post and so well written. Leaves a lot to think about!
    Visiting from Five Minute Friday (

  4. This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart and your grief with us today.